📖 Read Time: 3 minutes
📩 What you’ll get out of this newsletter: a non-cheesy, actually useful way to build confidence (plus 5 practical moves to try)
Confidence gets romanticized like it’s some inner fire you’re either born with or you’re not.
That’s why it’s wild to see the guy with zero charisma dating the hottest woman you know or your old college acquaintance casually sliding into your DMs to pitch her pyramid scheme
Meanwhile you’re out here nervous to ask someone you don’t even know to join your beta launch.
Real confidence is not a “believe in yourself” moment.
It’s the quiet accumulation of proof.
You try something. It doesn’t go perfectly. You survive it.
And your nervous system goes, “Cool. We didn’t die.”
That’s confidence.
Most truly confident people I know weren’t born that way. They just had enough moments where they moved forward without a guarantee, and it worked out enough times that they started to trust themselves.
They didn’t feel confident first. They built evidence. And the confidence showed up later.
So if you’ve been in a “who am I to do this?” spiral lately, this one’s for you.
Confidence is pattern recognition.
It’s the internal shift from “what if I mess up?”
to “even if I mess up, I’ll figure it out.”
And the fastest way to get there isn’t to hype yourself up.
It’s to build more data points.
Small experiments. Low-stakes risks. Honest proof.
What I’ve seen actually build confidence:
1. Doing something poorly on purpose
Most of us only attempt things we might be good at but doing something badly (and surviving it) is one of the fastest ways to learn that your worth isn’t tied to performance.
It’s also weirdly freeing…
2. Say one honest thing in a filtered space
In a meeting, a caption, a pitch. Just one sentence you’d normally water down.
It rewires your nervous system to see truth-telling as safe and it builds a kind of quiet internal safety that reads as confidence to everyone else.
3. Keep a “judgment wins” list
Most people track goals.
Confident people track judgment.
Confidence isn’t about knowing the right answer… it’s about trusting your ability to make a call and adjust.
For instance, I do a predictions list at the beginning of each year.
My predictions have been about work, pop culture, pretty much anything. It’s stupid, it’s fun, it’s low stakes. Most importantly, it builds the muscle of trusting your instincts… even when you get it wrong.
4. Run a small experiment with no external payoff.
Try something where success = “I tried it,” not “I got a result.”
This takes your identity out of the outcome and helps you build tolerance for risk without self-worth attached.
5. Audit your inputs
It’s hard to feel confident when your entire feed is curated perfection and 20-something founders with $10M exits.
Your feed, your mentors, your group chat… every piece of input shapes your self-perception.
Confidence isn’t just internal. It’s environmental.
Audit who and what you’re around, and what you are absorbing.
Genius Tips (no cliché “confidence hacks,” just stuff that imo actually helps):
Confidence = exposure + pattern recognition
Try things. Track them. Let that be the proof
Curiosity is often more useful than certainty
“Not ready” is just part of the process
Your brain believes evidence, not affirmations
Small risks build capacity for bigger ones
You don’t need to feel confident, you just need to keep showing up
If you take nothing else from this:
Confidence isn’t always just a vibe.
It’s a trail of receipts that says, “I’ve handled hard things before. I’ll handle this too.”
You don’t need to hype yourself up. You just need to keep moving, even a little, and let the evidence catch up.
P.S. What’s one experiment, risk, or micro-move you’re thinking about taking?
Reply or DM me. I’d genuinely love to hear.
P.P.S. Forward this to someone who’s downplaying their own progress right now.
Sometimes we just need someone else to name it.
—alex
P.S. are you looking for help with content strategy?
We have a two July spots left for our next four-week advisory cohort. Whether you’re an experienced founder, aspiring founder, or simply figuring out your side hustle, if you’re in the process of building your social media or personal brand, schedule some time and let’s chat!
