📖 Read Time: 3 minutes
📩 What you’ll get out of this newsletter: a fresh, no-BS way to define success on your terms instead of chasing someone else’s finish line.
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“Most people are running a race they never actually chose.”
That’s something my dad said to me on our annual trip last week, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
For the past couple weeks, rather than spending all day grinding and equating my success with financial or material gains, I’ve been able to spend some one-on-one, agenda-free, quality time with my dad, seeing somewhere new, listening to his stories, and learning from him. There's something really, really special about it and I don’t take it for granted.
And it prompted me to consider: how have I redefined success over the years?
Keeping it short and sweet this week (I just got home from traveling for 37 hours and I’m exhausted!), so let's dive in.
Stop chasing society’s race, define success your way.
We’re taught to chase more; more money, more status, more validation, without ever questioning if those things actually matter to us. Even when we reach our goal, we don’t feel the fulfillment we expected.
Why? Because we were using someone else’s definition of success.
But what if success wasn’t about achieving more, but about building a life that actually feels good to live? Wild concept, right? Here are a few points to consider if you’re rethinking how you define success.
1. Stop Letting Society Dictate Your Goals
The traditional definition of success like climbing the corporate ladder, hitting six figures, or buying a house is outdated. It’s time to question. Do I actually want this, or was I told I should want this?
2. Define Your Own Metrics
Success isn’t one-size-fits-all. What truly matters to you? More time with family? Creative freedom? Adventure? Write down your real priorities and measure success by those.
3. Detach from External Validation
If your success depends on likes, awards, or what people say about you, you’ll always be chasing. True success is feeling aligned with your own values even if no one claps for you.
4. Prioritize Progress Over Perfection
Success isn’t a finish line. It’s a direction. If you’re growing, learning, and becoming more of who you want to be, you’re already winning.
5. Make Joy a Non-Negotiable
If success feels like suffering, you’re doing it wrong. The journey should be as rewarding as the outcome. Optimize for daily happiness, not just a far-off dream.
TL;DR (How to actually define success)
Trade “more” for “meaning”; instead of asking, “How can I get ahead?”, ask, “What actually matters to me?”
Redefine wealth; money is great but real wealth is time, health, and freedom. Design your life around those.
Success isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing what matters; cut the noise, focus on the few things that bring you the most fulfillment.
The people who win aren’t the ones who chase the hardest; they’re the ones who choose wisely.
Ok, your turn…
What’s your definition of success? Hit reply. Tell me! I love hearing from everyone and getting your perspective.
As always, thanks for reading!
home & jet lagged,
— alex 💭 (@heyalexfriedman)
P.S. Forward this to a friend who would appreciate the nudge on redefining success.
P.P.S. We are opening just a few more slots for November. If you are a founder, coach, or VC and want clarity + speed in building your brand online and offline, let’s chat!
